Conversations with Queers!
by David Bayless

On January 18, we had our first "Conversations with Queers!" meeting in 2008 at the lovely new home of Robert S. - of the Snohomish County's Gay Men's Task Force.

It was a great evening with 13 guys from different generations, different points of views, and different life experiences! I'm glad there continues to be interest in such a different type of Health District program and hope that the motivation continues through 2008.

If I could digress for a moment: At the end of 2007, lack of HIV/AIDS funding from the national level again changed the spending priorities for 2008 in Snohomish County. As a result, the relatively new group that used to be called Q3, which was for Snohomish County GLBT men ages 18 - 29, is no longer being funded. However, through "Conversations with Queers!" and other outreach efforts from the Health District, I hope to continue reaching out to that age group, as well as other age groups who can benefit from the services we offer.

One program that continues to be a great resource is the HIV testing program at the Health District, which is available to anyone over 14 years of age! It's easy, accessible, and free to men who have sex with other men. For 2008, I will be bringing the opportunity to receive a confidential and free HIV test to future "Conversations with Queers!"

End of digression.

Back to the January conversation...the topic was "How has the Internet, and all it has to offer, affected the GLBTQ community?"

One of the nice things about our conversation is that in one room we had people who had quite literally been born during the age of the Internet and have never known a time without .org, .net, or .com. We also had people who admitted to getting online for the first time well into their 40s. Now that's diversity!

I LOVE discussions like this. Consider...

We now have the power to research the latest scientific and health information on diseases and treatments that affect our community. We can find a lawyer in our area that specializes in same-sex issues from adoption to property ownership to living wills. A couple of key strokes will reveal the most frequented areas in Snohomish County to hook up for anonymous sex. If you have a question about whether or not you should spit or swallow while performing oral sex, you can reference any number of websites! Looking for a companion on a Friday night to see a movie, go for a walk, or have a beer or cocktail? There are a huge number of free sites or connections-for-pay sites that can accomplish any of these!

However, what if you're a 50 year old man who is physically drawn to a 13 year old girl or boy and wants to meet them for less-than-youth? Or perhaps you have a compulsive gambling problem? Do you have money problems that you think can be solved by applying for 15 credit cards at once?

What if you are a younger person living in a very rural area, like Sultan for example, and you know that something about you is different, but you have no place to go for answers or companionship? The Internet can help you find GLOBE or the Trevor Hotline or Safe Schools Coalition - all these resources can help put a name to the "difference" you are feeling and let you know that you are perfectly normal.

Obviously, there are many sides to this issue because the Internet provides such a wide spectrum of services, resources, and connections. It can be a wonderful source of information with the ability to pretty much enter anything into Google and get at least 10 different sites to reference for information. Likewise there exists the opportunity to exploit, corrupt, and fuel negative passions. Simply by existing, the Internet doesn't do anything negative or positive, does it? Isn't it really the way we use the tool that dictates the outcome? I suppose that's like saying "Guns don't kill people, people kill people!" or "Religion isn't a bad thing, it's the bigots who are religious who are bad!"

I'm not sure, but I think we collectively agreed that for every positive contribution that the Internet has made for our community - indeed for everyone - a negative contribution exists as well. Regardless, I don't think anyone is willing to give up the benefits that we enjoy through the Internet!

I maintain that as much as we need stimulation of the brain, our stomachs like getting fed too! So during the entire conversation, we enjoyed pizza, salad, and snacks that were provided by our wonderful host(ess), and kitchen maven Brian T. We ended the evening a little after 9:00 PM after a quick tour of Robert's new digs. Personally I'm a little jealous of the two car garage, and the game room.

Our next "Conversations with Queers!" is currently scheduled for Friday, February 15, 2008 at Bob & John's house in Marysville. It's the day after Valentine's Day...the 3rd Friday of the month! If you're interested in attending or hosting any of our evenings, please contact David Bayless directly at 425.339.2538 or gayinfo@shd.snohomish.wa.gov .